[Intro]
C
Dear Uber Driver
C Am
Here's a few things, you need to know if
F G C
You wanna take this full time woman for a ride
[Verse 1]
C
Hurry don't be late
C Am
Meet me at the gate
Am
Try not to hit a bunch of speed bumps, while I beat my face
F G
I'm gonna need my light
G
My brows are even right
C
Why you watching me?
C
Oi eyes on the street!
C
Now don't avert your eyes
C
I'm 'bout to shave my thighs
Am
And if this tuck gets any looser
You'll see a suprise
F
Don't play it by the book
G
Go on it's fine to look
C
Like what you see?
That's fine have a peak
[Pre-chorus 1]
C Am
You gotta know, first of all I ain't no lady
F
Matter fact I'm fucking crazy
G C
Bitch you better make that light
GO!GO! What the fuck
[Chorus]
C
Dear Uber driver
Am
Here's a few things you need to know if
F G C
You wanna take this gorgeous lady for a ride
C
(Shouln't we be using lyft?)
C
Dear Uber driver
Am
Lookin' at me, don't be so nervous
F G C
Bet you never saw a bunch of air bags look so fine
(I'm too pretty to die!)
[Verse 2]
C
After the show tonight
Am
I'll be drunk and high
F
So while I'm sober take the address of this Grindr guy
F
Wait while I get him off
G
You know that's never long
C
By the way your seats
Need Tide and Febreze
[Pre-chorus 2]
C Am
I already know I'm a queen I ain't no lady
F
Don't be saying nothing shady
G C
I will read your whole damn life
Listen here you dog ass mole
[Chorus]
C
Dear Uber Driver
Am
Here's a few things you need to know if
F G C
You wanna take this pretty young thing for a ride
(This isn't a pool get out of my car)
C
Dear Uber driver
Am
Don't you know you that objects in the mirror
F G C
Might be looking bigger than they do when they're inside
(Oh, it's an 8.5 surge)
[Bridge]
C
We'll be stopping at the red light up ahead
Am
Flash your junk for me and you might get fellatio
F
I'm not too good to try
G
Blowing a taxi guy
C
I'm just a chick
If you don't mind a dick
[Pre-chorus]
C Am
You got to know first of all I ain't no lady
F
But I'm fresher than a daisy
G C
Wait I wanna flash that guy
(Hey, hey! Look at these)
[Chorus]
C
Dear Uber driver
Am
Here's a few things you need to know if
F G C
You want a business from a special [?]
C
Dear Uber driver
Am
If you wanna get that five star rating
F
Get me to the gig
G C
And make sure I arrive alive
(Click it or ticket)
[Outro]
N.C
Uber driver
Now you can zip your fly
[intro: alaska thunderf-ck]
dear uber driver
here’s a few things you need to know if
you wanna take this full time woman for a ride
[verse 1: willam, courtney act & alaska thunderf-ck]
hurry don’t be late
meet me at the gate
try not to hit a bunch of speed b-mps
while i beat my face
i’m gonna need my light
my brows are even right?
(no)
why you watchin’ me?
oi! eyes on the street
now don’t avert your eyes
i’m ’bout to shave my thighs
and if this tuck gets any looser
you’ll see a surprise
don’t play it by the book
go on it’s fine to look
like what you see?
that’s fine have a peek
[pre-chorus 1: all & willam]
you gotta know first of all i ain’t no lady
matter fact, i’m f-cking crazy
b-tch you better make that light
go! go! what the f-ck
[chorus: all & courtney act]
dear uber driver
here’s a few things you need to know if
you wanna take this gorgeous lady for a ride
(um, shouldn’t we be taking lyft?)
dear uber driver
lookin’ at me, don’t you be so nervous
bet you never saw a pair of air bags look so fine
(i’m too pretty to die, ahh!)
[verse 2: alaska thunderf-ck, willam & courtney act]
after the show tonight
i’ll be drunk and high
so while i’m sober take the address of this grindr guy
wait while i get him off
you know that’s never long
by the way your seats
need tide and febreze
[pre-chorus 2: all & courtney act]
i already know i’m a queen i ain’t no lady
don’t be saying nothing shady
i will read your whole d-mn life
listen here you dog -ss mole
[chorus: all, willam, & alaska thunderf-ck]
dear uber driver
here’s a few things you need to know if
you wanna take this pretty young thing for a ride
(this isn’t a pool get out of my car)
dear uber driver
don’t you know you that objects in the mirror
might be looking bigger than they do when they’re inside
(oh, it’s an 8.5 surge)
[bridge: courtney act, alaska thunderf-ck, & willam]
we’ll be stopping at the red light up ahead
flash your junk for me and you might get f-ll-t–
i’m not too good to try
blowing a taxi guy
i’m just a chick
if you don’t mind a d-ck
[pre-chorus: all & willam]
you got to know first of all i ain’t no lady
but i’m fresher than a daisy
wait i wanna flash that guy
(hey, hey! look at these)
[chorus: all & courtney act]
dear uber driver
here’s a few things you need to know if
you want a business from a special [?]
dear uber driver
if you wanna get that five star rating
get me to the gig
and make sure i arrive alive
(click it or ticket)
[outro: all & willam]
uber driver
now you can zip your fly
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