[Intro]
G D G
 
[Verse 1]
G
Wash all the pots and linens
       C        G
Find a psychoanalyst
C                 G
Go the bank and deposit checks
      D                G
Sweep up the shattered dish
 
[Verse 2]
G
Return everything that I've borrowed
C                     G
Change all the bloody gauze
C                     G
Buy a spinach colored dinner jacket
  D              G
Defy all natural laws
 
[Chorus]
C      Bm        C                 D
Ooh oh oh, cancel better homes and gardens
C      Bm    C           D
Ooh oh oh, admire gothic arches
 
[Verse 3]
  G
Become a lot more happy
        C            G
Build a maze of Styrofoam
  C                     G
Befriend an unfortunate lunatic
     D        G
Wail on a saxophone
 
[Verse 4]
G
Walk down the road into darkness
C                    G
Fall in an orchestra pit
C                     G
Have an affair in the provinces
      D              G
Bring flowers to thе sick
 
[Chorus]
C      Bm           C                  D
Ooh oh oh, find out what's killing the bees
C      Bm     C             D
Ooh oh oh, proclaim a lasting peace
 
[Verse 5]
G
Opеn the blinds, let the light in
C                    G
Stand in the amorous rays
     C                 G
Rise up in the name of liberty
      D              G
Throw out my fascist berets
 
[Verse 6]
G
Purchase balloons for the ballroom
C              G
Buy some asparagus
C                   G
Buy a harmonium and powdered wig
    D            G
Buy after dinner mints
 
[Chorus]
C      Bm           C                  D
Ooh oh oh, buy head cheese and hock of ham
C      Bm    C          D
Ooh oh oh, become a family man
 
[Guitar Solo]
G D G
 
[Verse 7]
G
Finish the wealth of nations
   C               G
Discover a miracle drug
C                       G
Learn all supreme court justices' names
    D                  G
And test the limits of love
 
[Verse 8]
G
Acquire more guilty pleasures
        C                   G
Sit and watch as the plague goes by
C                G
Wash the hot fry stains from my hands
    D             G
And laugh until I cry
 
[Chorus]
C      Bm        C                  D
Ooh oh oh, throw out all the songs I wrote
C      Bm      C              D
Ooh oh oh, and buy a buckskin coat
 
[Outro]
G   C  G  C  G  D
G   C  G  C  G  D  G
              Wash all the pots and linens
Find a psychoanalist
Go the bank and deposit checks
Sweep up the shattered dish

Return everything that I've borrowed
Change all the bloody gauze
Buy a spinach colored dinner jacket
Defy all natural laws

Ooh oh oh, cancel better homes and gardens
Ooh oh oh, admire gothic arches

Become a lot more happy
Build a maze of styrofoam
Befriend an unfortunate lunatic
Wail on a saxophone

Walk down the road into darkness
Fall in an orchestra pit
Have an affair in the provinces
Bring flowers to the sick

Ooh oh oh, find out what's killing the bees
Ooh oh oh, proclaim a lasting peace

Open the blinds, let the light in
Stand in the amorous rays
Rise up in the name of liberty
Throw out my fascist berets

Purchase balloons for the ballroom
Buy some asparagus
Buy a harmonium and powdered wig
Buy after dinner mints

Ooh oh oh, buy head cheese and hock of ham
Ooh oh oh, become a family man

Finish the wealth of nations
Discover a miracle drug
Learn all supreme court justices' names
And test the limits of love

Acquire more guilty pleasures
Sit and watch as the plague goes by
Wash the hot fry stains from my hands
And laugh until I cry

Ooh oh oh, throw out all the songs I wrote
Ooh oh oh, and buy a buckskin coat              
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