Jort Storm

[Intro]
     G#m
This just in!
                                                    E
We're receiving reports that a new fad is taking the nation by storm.
 
It's name? JORTS
G#m                                                                E                            F#
(But it appears as if this breakthrough in jean-short splicing technology 
is casing irregular weather patterns)
all across the globe (Whoo!)
 
 
[Verse 1]
G#m
It's the warmer season, so I can't wear jeans
 E
I really like the denim, but not the length of the seam
G#m
My mom dresses cas and my dad likes to preen
E
I'm not like either of them,
 
I got the recessive gene!
 
 
[Chorus]
G#m
Jort storm!
D#m
Jort storm's comin' tonight
G#m
A jort storm!
E         F#
It's a category 5
G#m
Jort storm
D#m
Jort storm's comin' tonight
E                      F#
I said a jort storm's comin', so run and hide!
 
 
[Bridge]
G#m
Jorticane
D#m
Jortnado
E
Jortnami
F#
Jortquake
G#m
Jortruption
F#
Jortalanche
B      D#
  Jortpocalypse
 
 
[Verse 3]
G#m                 F#
    Jort storm's comin' (JORTS!)
G#m          F#           B
    So you better start runnin'
E
Fast, it's a chase
        D#                                         G#m
But be careful 'cause these jorts will chafe you (Yeah!)
                     F#     G#m
They're the new sensation (JORTS!)
             F#     B
Wear 'em to every occasion
E
Jorts in the pool
           D#            F#
Or even better, wear 'em to a funeral, yeah (J-J-J-JORTS!)
G#m
My personality is ninety-nine percent jorts
E
I got a genetic test, but all my genes are shorts!
 
 
[Chorus]
G#m
The jort storm!
D#m
Jort storm's comin' tonight
G#m
A jort storm!
E         F#
It's a category 5
G#m
Jort storm
D#m
Jort storm's comin' tonight
E                       F#
I take off my fucking jorts, I got-a jorts inside
 
[Outro]
G#m
Breaking news
D#m                                     E                    F#
Millions of Americans are being sucked directly into the Jortex
                  G#m
And it's headed straight for this studio
F#                       B
To my wife, Cheryl, and son, Timmy
D#         G#m
I love—— (JORTS!)
                F#    G#m
The elders foretold (JORTS!)
       F#    D#
Of a fashion so bold
   E
A new god of the earth (Jorthulhu!)
    D#
To seal it in denim and turn it into Jearth!
 
G#m   F#
G#m   F#  B D#
E
D#  F#
G#m
E
G#m
E   F#